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'I'm Not Blind, I Just Don't See'
By Fr. Michael Tracey Bay St. Louis Christmas Day 1899 was a very special day for the Dambrino family of Bay St. Louis. Lylia Madeline was born. Like any other child, she grew up enjoying her childhood, her happy home and her youth.
At the married age of 24 years, ?Ms. Lil? (as she is affectionately known) found that her eyes were becoming blurred. Visits to several doctors revealed that she had a cataract in her left eye and a detached retina in her right eye. Surgery was performed twice, but due to the lack of medical knowledge and technique then, nothing could be done.
Finally, the doctors faced her with the truth. She was going to be blind.
?It never came as a shock to
me,? Lil goes on to say, ?When I was a child of about seven years, my grandmother?s best friend died and I went with my grandmother to the funeral. The woman had had cancer and nothing could be done for her. The priest in his eulogy said that this woman had gone straight to heaven because she had gone through her purgatory in this life. Then I said to myself: Lord, I want to suffer my purgatory on this earth too.?
At 24 Lil Carver went to a Blind School in Baton Rouge, La. That became a turning point in her life.
?I met so many nice people there,? she said. ?People who are not nice wouldn?t stop and fool around with an old woman who was losing her sight?, then she caught what she was saying
and chimed back, ?but I wasn?t old then.?
Her doctors wanted her to go on to college because secretly she was a ?ray of sunshine? for them. The thoughts of college soon vanished when her mother died and the Second World War loomed in the air.
The war years were to take her to Jackson, where she worked sewing hankerchiefs, bags, badges and other linens for the war. While in Jackson, she remembers an amusing incident that happened to a blind man who was working there also. Someone came up to him and asked how he shaved himself. ?I have a rare razor? he laughed back.
?What gives these people who are blind that sense of humor is their inner peace of mind. There are lots of sighted people who
don?t have it and they feel miserable as a result,? says Lil.
While in Jackson, Lil had dreams of coming back to Bay St. Louis. She asked to have a concession stand at the courthouse in Bay St. Louis. Her request was granted. On Sept. 27.1946 she began.
Ms. Lil became a familiar figure at the courthouse, making many friends near and far, shaking hands with politicians and ordinary folks. She has many pleasant memories of her years at the courthouse, years of selling cokes, candy and cigarettes, years of sharing trivia with friends to be. At times, she felt like an ?Ann Landers? listening to many souring love stories of young people and offering them her own expert advice.
?Most of them (the people entering the courthouse) didn?t know I couldn?t see,? she said. ?A lot of them would come in and talk and then say something and I would say I?m sorry but I can?t see. ?Well! I didn?t know that,? they would say. To me that was the nicest thing people could say.?
Others came in and acted differently. They would say, ?Oh! I?m so sorry.? But I?d say, ?Lady, don?t feel sorry for me. I?ve had a very good life.?
An era has just ended for Ms. Lil as the ?concession stand lady? at the courthouse. Thirty years of service and friendships made have made its mark, Ms. Lil has just retired. No longer will she hand you a coke, or some candy to your child. The lady and the dog, at the courthouse you will no longer see, but at home you?ll find her taking care of her usual household chores.
As Ms. Lil sits home enjoying her retirement, she has time to reflect. ?I?ve never missed being able to see. I don?t think I?ve missed one thing.? Lil said.
Why? ?Because I can see a lot of things with my hands. If someone comes to me and shows me a flower, I can tell what it is. If it is a rose, it?s a beautiful rose; if it?s a carnation, it?s a pretty carnation. To me, that has been a gift from Almighty God.?
Her faithful ?seeing-eye? dog is always at her side. This is her fourth; the first one she received back in 1950 from the ?Seeing-eye Dog School? in Morrison, N. J. She has one problem with her present ?seeing-eye? dog ? the dog decided to retire when Ms. Lil did.
How does a person in the full bloom of life react when she finds out that she is blind?
She jokingly smiles; ?I think that was one of the reasons I lost my sight. You see! I was so smart then that if I had my sight I would probably have been married three or four times. So, thank God, things turned out the way they did. That?s one of the reasons why the doctors couldn?s do anything for my sight, because that?s the way the Lord wanted it and He knew me.?
She laughs as she tells the unusual things that happen to her at home; things like opening a can of snap beans thinking it was spinach. ?I run into a door and sock my head sometimes and I say, ?Lord, that?s for you?, because if He had thorns on his head I don?t mind having ?hickeys? on mine.?
Some people come up to her and say: ?Oh, I think blindness must be a most terrible thing.? With a smile, she simply says: ?I think being deaf is worse than not being able to see. Have you ever noticed deaf people, the majority of them have such sad looks on their faces. They don?t see too much to laugh about.?
Emphatically, she goes on, ?I haven?t met any unhappy blind people. They always laugh at
themselves. All the things they do to themselves were so funny.?
Ms. Lil sees a big difference between a ?handicapped person? and a person with an ?inconvenience.? ?People think that people who are blind have something wrong with them. Sometimes, I think people with good sight, who have all their faculties are handicapped, because they can?t see the good in life. They are depressed, doing something all the time, can?t stay home. They are not contented and don?t have peace of mind.?
Lil doesn?t have time to fret and frown. She is just too busy living, getting a chance to take a vacation now and again to see the United States. ?Blind people see a lot of things through other people?s eyes?, she said.
A plaque hangs in her home, given to her at a state banquet in Jackson recently, honoring her for her 30 years of service. Now she is preparing to take another trip to Little Rock, Ark. where she will address the Third Order of Mt. Carmel Annual Convention on the topic of ?Ministry of Acceptance.?
During her breaks from housework, she reads her books, listens to all the baseball games and tunes in to some classical music.
Ms. Lil Carver and her faithful dog will walk down the aisle of St. Joseph?s Mission Church in Bay St. Louis this Sunday to attend the regular 8 a.m. Mass. As she takes her place in the first pew, her neighbors and friends will join her for Mass.
A woman, not handicapped, but inconvenienced, a woman who can see more than most of us. will get on her knees and thank God that she is on her feet.
Perhaps none of us can sum up Ms. Lil?s life and outlook better than herself ? ?I?m not blind, I just don?t see.?
Ms. Lil, shown here before her retirement from	inconvenience but it doesn't make her unhappy
the concession stand at the Bay St. Louis court-	and believes it's a way to "suffer my purgatory
house, says she hasn't "met any unhappy blind	on earth."
Deoole." She admits her blindness is an