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30
Back Porch
Pavarotti, Hot Dogs and Country Music
by Jack C. Kean
Once upon a time not too long ago a mean and evil man left his lair in Washington DC and came to Atlanta to see me. He said that I would have to forsake my home and job and move to Washington in order to complete my career with the government. It mattered not to this evil person that retirement eligibility was a mere 16 months away. It mattered even less that Washington DC rates barely above hell in my book of places to live. That is how it came to pass that I lived in the northernmost part of the South for 16 months. The following is but one of many stories to result from that experience.
Sometimes you never know. Sometimes you find out much later. And sometimes, sometimes the minute the ill conceived words escape your lips. I knew. I knew the instant I heard my voice telling my wife that Pavarotti would be at the U.S. Air Arena in Landover, Maryland on December 1, that I, too, would be making an appearance at the Arena on December 1. Maybe it was the look of determination in her eyes. Maybe it was the way die elongated the word ‘love” as in “I would really love to see him” In any event, it soon became clear that my December 1 evening was planned and that I would not be listening to Reba, Dwight, Garth, or Pam
The decision was made. Now began the task of purchasing tickets. It was first necessary to talk with a representative of the “Big Ticket Company.” This company charges you for the privilege of buying a ticket to almost any event where more people than the immediate family will be gathering. Their services are not cheap.
The representative of the “Big Ticket Company” told me that prices for the Pavarotti tickets began at $200. Yes, $200. As the blood drained from my face, a look of pity crossed his. He went on to say that tickets could also be purchased for $150, $100, and $85. I’ve sold cars for less than any of those figures. And yes, there were tickets for $50, $35, and $25 which at this point seemed cheap, and that is likely what I would have been called by my significant other if I had purchased one of them What is the difference between a $200 ticket and a $25 ticket? Maybe for $25 you get to stand in the parking lot watching the concert on a portable TV. After somehow deciding that $100 would be the limit, I learned, alas, the $100 tickets were sold out. So it came to pass that I paid $170 for two tickets to see Pavarotti, phis a fee to the “Bit Ticket Company.”
It would not be reasonable to expect my spouse to attend an event of such magnitude without new clothing. Truthfully, how much she paid for the new outfit remains a mystery. But once you have $170 in tickets, what’s another hundred or two for the proper attire? I chose to have a pair of pants cleaned for the affair. It was the least, yes the very least, that I could do.
The excitement began to build, but quite slowly. After all, this was August and the big conceit was not until December. In fact, it was sometime in November before I remembered my commitment to see Pavarotti and began to regret it. A tenor, an orchestra and twenty thousand high brows sounded Hke anything but fun.
A few logistical matters began to concern me. December 1 is on a
Friday, and the concert was at 7:30 p.m. My condominium was 42 miles from U.S. Air Arena. If you look at the Washington area as a clock, the U.S. Air Arena is located at 3 o’clock and I lived at 9 o’clock. In other words, you couldn’t have a worse drive than the beltway during rush hour on Friday. And December in Washington is kind of iffy. What if it snowed? If anything bothered me more than paying $170 to see Pavarotti, it was paying $ 170 and not seeing him.
Finally the big day arrived. We left the house at 5:38 p.m., headed for the concert. One hour later we had traveled 19 miles and things were looking grim. Never had there been bumper to bumper traffic like this. We crawled along, and at 7:20 p.m. got in line to pay for parking.
The big sign outside said “Preferred Parking $10.” At this point I just preferred to get inside and would gladly have paid $20 for parking. When we finally got up to the toll booth the sign said $7, and that is what I paid. We were directed to a space after learning that there was indeed “Preferred Parking” and that it was in front of the arena.
Around 7:30 we entered the building. Seeing that there were still thousands of empty seats, I grabbed a couple of hot dogs and a soda. Even though this arena is better known for basketball and hockey, somehow it didn’t seem appropriate to take hot dogs inside. Hot dogs and Pavarotti? Does it sound right to you? Can you hear the faint echo of “Beerman, get your cold beer here?”
‘Tor $85 per ticket we were seated at the opposite end of the arena from Pavarotti Fortunately the big screen TVs hanging over center court