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Book Report.
As everyone in the English Department knows, 1 come once a month, not as a warrior of old, but as a red-eyed demon— red-eyed from loss of that supreme comforter of man—sleep, which was lost in reading, reading, reading, both fast and furiously at the last minute. I do not come to win battles or to conquer nations, but I am a demon nevertheless. Wrinkled brows, untold labor, countless hours of suffering and much misery are all signs of my recent visits. The groans and moans of my victims give me much pleasure, for I thrive on their misery—because I have them in my grasp. They must either submit to my demands, or suffer the more awful penalty of failure. Sometimes,
I am even the cause of premature gray hairs.
But, fair students, your misery will not be prolonged much now. for I am growing old—as all of us must do—and I am becoming very feeble. The fear of approaching death causes me much agony. But I have a successor—the monarch for next session, who will take my place when I am gone.
I am the monthly book report of ’27-’2S. But cheer up, through me you have read nine books in addition to your regular textbooks; because of me, some of you have developed the habit of reading. I am only the necessary evil that accompanies the formation of the habit of reading.
E. "Bl'CK" I.OTT, ’2D.
Latin are good,	French	are better,
But my English, What I is having now,
Have made me--------what I are.
Of all the subjects we study, English is the most practical, because we use it the most. Everything we undertake requires speech before it is done, even getting married. A “line” is as important in life, as it is in fishing.
When a person meets you_ and speaks, right then you form an impression of him, either good or bad, by the Tone of his speech. That’s the way we “does” Prof. By his talk in chapel every morning, we always knows how to approach him for favors the rest of the day. All he “have” to do “are” to walk out on the stage and pala-verate about an hour about “these kids leavin’ the gate open,” or “this everlastin’ courtin goin’ oh around here”—and he find “hisself” alone in his office the rest of the day, until his “line” changes its tune.
Speech in the form of flattery and deceitful praise, if conveyed cleverly, will have pleasing results to you. If you do not believe this, try it on the teachers and notice your good grades as a result. It is simply remarkable.
After reading this, you will probably ! realize the importance ol' good English and i speech.	|
The Eighth Grade!
Ugh! Another composition to write! Well, here goes, I’ll try it.
I shall try to present to you a vision of the present eighth grade. It is noted for its jollity and silliness throughout the school; though on the other hand, no matter how silly they may act, their brilliancy (?) stands out above the rest. In all, there are about twenty-eight in the class, all of whom are worthy of—and get—praise from the teachers and all with whom they come in contact.
The Eighth grade knows its “stuffings” in Home Economics, and "onions” too.
"You ought to^have saw them in English class. They chews gum and when Miss Dawson tell them to “look out the winder,” if they get real scared, they swallers it. Miss Dawson says that they is, intelligent, even if they is kinder dub.
The faculty likes this grade better than any other grade in school 'cause they discuss us every time they meet. ’Course I don’t know exactly what they say, but you can imagine.
Mr. Dubuisson thinks all of the 8th grade pupils will be promising mathematicians. Why, fully half the class passed last month. Mr. Kellar thinks we did as Rip Van Winkle—lived long ago while all the events in history were happening, and then fell asleep, because we can tell about them so well now.
So now, I hope I’ve made a decent im-I pression upon you for my class. If you’re interested, just visit the school at one o’clock in Miss Dawson’s room and we’ll display some of our knowledge of the English language for you.
MARTHA “SIS” STRINGER, ’32.
Speech is indispensable (I learned that word in English class) to life—especially to the ladies.
GLADYS HARRELL, ’30.
KILN MERCANTILE CO.
“Everything”
Quality Merchandise at Reasonable Prices
We invite you in to inspect our new lines of dress goods tind shoes arriving now from St. Louis, having been carefully selected by our buyer personally, from the South’s largest market.
We offer you meats and butter kept perfectly fresh and sanitary at all times by our cold storage plant.
WTe ask you to take advantage of our quick turn-over of a large stock of staple and fancy groceries, to insure you against anything blit fresh ami high quality merchandise.
WE AIM TO SATISFY—TRY US.
KILN MERCANTILE CO.
The Grade English Department.
One of the most outstanding accomplishments of the Grade English department during the session of 1927-28 is the building of the library, which now contains about ninety volumes.
The greatest work of the department is the individual achievement of the pupils, some of which will be seen in the following selection :
“Impression of the Sixth Grade.” There are twelve boys and nine girls in the sixth grade. We have four teachers, and love them all. When you have been talking, and Mr. Dubuisson gets mad, you had better -be quiet or prepare to sit on the floor. One time Miss Stringer called us to the board, and Junior Sellier was in such a hurray he ripped his pants on the teacher’s desk. After that, we called him “Wild Bill,” but he’s a little tamer now.
<■ <■ *
The Sixth Grade is a jolly crowd.
The only thing wrong is: they talk too loud. If you are talking as we all adore.
You’re sure to find yourself sitting on the floor.
Ham Gravy is very, very tall,
Of all the Sixth grade he’s tallest of all. Walter Saucier is a great speller,
And he’s Lillie Mae’s best Sunday fellow. Ethel Spiers, the big flapper,
If she gets Walter mad, he’s sure to slap her.
Now comes Ray—the quiet little boy,
In school, he’s always still as a toy.
He w-ill not run, he will not play,
But he will sit still the live-long day.
Elma and Lucille, the bad little girls,
Who like Arthur Saucier, the boys with the curls.
Junior Sellier, the boy with a brace,
For eating spaghetti, he has the taste. Harvey Peterson, lank and lean,
His girl is as fat as a butter bean.
So you see the Sixth Grade is not a rusty tool,
I think it the best class in all the school.
—FRANK LANE STRINGER.
The Long and Short of Our Vocabularies.
It is quite apparent that, even with our diligent pedagogues, out our vocabularies are disdainfully neglected. Why not use words of more longevity—they sound more intellectual—don’t you comprehend? For an illustration of utter dumbness on the subject:
The other day Gladys said to Annie Maude: “Edna has a good vocabulary, hasn’t shcE?”
Annie Maude (with a look of intelligence) : “Yeah, she said she was going to hang it in the hall when she left.”